One Down, Five to Go

Well, I have the first chemo under my belt.  The dragon, so far, has turned out to be a large, albeit ugly, lizard.  Whew!  It isn't pleasant, but I haven't spent any time praying to the porcelain gods.  They have a new long-acting anti-nausea drug and it seems to work well.  Today, I had to get the Neulasta to boost my white cell count.  I am now waiting to see how that goes.  The main thing with that is bone pain from kicking the bone marrow into high gear.   I will get to keep my hair for a little while longer.  It should start to fall out in about 2-3 weeks.
I can't tell everyone how much their thoughts and prayers mean to me.  It really helps me a lot.

T -20 Hours and Counting

Well, tomorrow is the day...my first chemo treatment.  I have to go to Lawton for this one (about 90 miles away) and then I can just go to Altus (25 or so miles).  We are going over tonight and staying with family so we don't have to get up as early in the morning.  Not like that will matter much.  I am not sure how I will sleep tonight, wondering just how sick I will be.  At least Mike is going to be home for the next week with me.  He is so good, so supportive and it really gives me a lot of comfort in facing the unknown.

Chemotherapy

I had my appointment with the medical oncologist last Thursday.  I like the guy, and that always helps.  If you don't like your Doc, it is hard to have confidence in whatever he or she is telling you.  Not that I liked what he said one little bit. 
I was hoping that I would get away without needing chemo, but it looks like I will be doing it after all.  Because of my age, he strongly recommended chemotherapy.  The younger you are, the more aggressively breast cancer can grow.  I am still considered young enough to have a chance of fairly aggressive growth of any cells that may have escaped the surgeon. 
The chemo agents they use for this are pretty nasty.  Taxotere, a plant-derived alkaloid, and Cytoxan, a derivative of mustard gas (yeah, nice thought, huh?) are the drugs I have slated for use.  I was hoping I would get through this with my hair, but that's not gonna happen.  Both of these cause hair loss, right down to your eyelashes, for God's sake!  And, sometimes, even your toe and fingernails.
I have been asking myself how in the world does a person voluntarily submit themselves to periodic poisoning.  I know, lots of people have done it, and are doing it now, but the question stands.  Yes, I will do it, but I reserve to myself the right to whine and moan about it periodically.
The up side to all this is the better than 94% survival rate at the end of 10 years.  If I do the chemo, the radiation and then 5 years of hormone suppression (daily pill), the computer program they use to calculate all the variables puts me at greater than 94% at 10 years.  I like those odds...
I am not sure when I will start.  Because the whole point to these drugs is to target rapidly growing cells, I have to be healed from the surgeries.  Once I start, there won't be any more healing of anything.  I am going to the dentist on Thurs to make sure I won't run into any trouble there while this is going on.  I will see the oncologist again on the 12th and I imagine he will decide then when this is going to start. 
I really wanted to have a big garden this year, but I have resigned myself to having a couple of tomato plants in pots on the back porch.  I have managed to give all the kittens away and am trying to decide what to do with the cat.  I certainly can't be scooping a litter box and I don't relish the idea of having her around with out a litter box in the house, just in case.  I think the dogs will be ok, but I am thinking about taking them to the vet for a check up and any advice he might have for me.  However, the little dog better stop peeing in the floor.  I am about done with that, even without chemo.  The surgeries I had are all on the left side and I shoot right handed...besides, a .22 rifle doesn't have any recoil to speak of (just sayin').
I would be interested in hearing from anyone who has gone through this before, either personally or with a family member. 

'Cuz I Like This Poem..

“Hope” is the thing with feathers

By Emily Dickinson (1830–1886)

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -
That perches in the soul -
And sings the tune without the words -
And never stops - at all -


And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -
And sore must be the storm -
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm -


I’ve heard it in the chillest land -
And on the strangest Sea -
Yet - never - in Extremity,
It asked a crumb - of me.