Oklahoma Rising

If you plan on visiting Oklahoma or becoming an Oklahoman, there are a few things you should know that will help you adapt to the differences in lifestyles:

1. First, you need to learn our state song, Oklahoma!
2. If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a 12 pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
3. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals, ammunition and bait in the same store. Do not buy food at this store.
4. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
5. Remember, "ya'll" is singular, "all ya'll" is plural, and "all ya'll's" is plural possessive.
6. Get used to hearing "You ain't from around here, are ya?"
7. You may hear an Okie say "Ought!" to a dog or child. This is short for "Ya'll oughta not do that!" and is the equivalent of saying "No!"
8. Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. You’ll catch on. Just remember, they can't understand you either.
9. The first Okie expression to creep into a Yankee's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," as in "big'ol truck" or "big'ol boy." Most Yankees begin their Okie-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.
10. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
11. Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.
12. If you hear an Okie exclaim, "Hey, ya'll, watch this," stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.
13. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
14. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
15. When you come up on a person driving 15 mph down the middle of the road, remember that most folks learn to drive on a John Deere, and that this is the proper speed and position for that vehicle.
16. Around here, we have found that the best way to grow a lush, green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
17. Don't ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
18. The best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold 'tater salad.
19. Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.
20. It’s important to determine, in advance, where you will take shelter in a tornado. Then, when the storm whistle blows, run outside and look for the funnel.

Oklahoman's are some of the friendliest, most generous people you will ever meet. We welcome folks from all over the world to become "Okies" just like us!

(Thanks to Cowgirl357 for finding this video)