Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Saturday, April 21, 2012
And One Year Later.....
I am a Cancer Patient
by Amy Breitmann, 1998
I am a cancer patient.
I am also a mother, a wife, a daughter, a friend.
I have fears and uncertainty,
and days of boundless joy and deep emotion.
I am a cancer patient.
I have a career and goals and a past filled with memories.
I have days I wonder who will care for my children if I am gone-
and days I am certain I will live forever.
I am a cancer patient.
I am also a survivor, and inspiration, an advocate.
I have hope and courage
as well as nights of of restless sleep
and days of fierce doubt and deep rage.
I am a cancer patient.
I am experienced in enduring medical procedures and treatments
and feeling exposed to total strangers in whose hands I lay my future.
I have moments of complete confusion and some of total understanding.
I am a cancer patient.
I am skilled at disguising my physical signs of illness
with wigs and hats and makeup and smiles-
But do not be fooled...I am afraid.
I am a cancer patient
I enjoy peaceful moments amidst the uncertainty that is my life.
I am viewed with pity, with awe, and with a certain misunderstanding
by those who have not shared my journey.
I am a cancer patient.
and I am blessed because I live life larger than most
because I am acutely aware of life's preciousness.
I am a product of a tenuous and difficult challenge
and I am most thankful for the side effects that have helped me become
a better mother, a wife, a daughter, and a friend.
One of my "sisters in pink" from the National Breast Cancer website found this poem and posted it for us. It sums up the emotions many of us experience. I wanted to share it with those who have been my good friends and supporters here on Multiply.
For the record, one year ago this time, I had completed all the surgeries and was waiting to start chemotherapy. I was stunned and couldn't even say the words, "I have breast cancer." The unknown loomed before me like a dark and fearsome beast.
Today, the worst is behind me. I have hair again! I haven't yet been told I am cancer free, but I believe in my heart that I am. My strength and stamina is slowly improving and the brain fog from the chemo is almost cleared. There is still a daily anticancer pill that gives me some issues, but I can deal with that. It is good to be alive!!
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